I grew up…
Playing sports. Go hard every time. Don’t show vulnerabilities. People will exploit it.
Stay tough.

Now I live in a world…
Where I’m told I should talk to a counsellor if I have a problem. I should seek help.
In my mind, this means I have to show weakness.
Who will exploit it?

I grew up…
in a world where the worst thing you could be called was ‘girly’
Have a cup of concrete and toughen the fuck up! (I heard this statement only a matter of months ago)
Any behaviour that was similar to a girls was derided and something you avoided at all costs.

Now I live in a world…
Where we ask men to show their emotions, talk more about their problems, embrace their feminine.

I grew up…
with the idea that the epitome of a strong man was a superhero. A muscular, chiselled-jaw bloke who never doubts his ability and who deals with problems with ease.

Now I navigate…
The internal workings of my mind where I doubt my ability and struggle with my problems.
Where I know that I am faulty, where I am scared, where I know I don’t have a superpower but others might expect that I do.
Where I am fearful of what my kids will think of me if I show weakness. Where I am fearful what my family will think of me if I have a weakness.

Now I navigate…
A world where I realise that I’m not prepared for what the world expects of me.
A world where the expectations we have on men, don’t align with the way we grew up. Where we expect men to change, but don’t expect the system to change. Where we expect men to ignore their lifetime of lessons on how to be a man and expect them to admit they have a problem and seek help.
We put the onus on men who are struggling, rather than stand with them in their pain. We wait for them to come to us, rather than going to them to support them.